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River Gone

by Alec Betterley

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1.
Tell me a story to put me down I am a door that is revolving round when the unwary will come out of a dream            tell me you'll stay here in sight unseen Give me a way to remember us now I'll find the long road to home somehow and If I'm lost here and never to be found tell me you'll bring me the sweetest sound                Lay me down in the water here                   and I will let it carry me away from ev'ry fear show me all that we have held and wash it here with me send me offl with a prayer to find a stillest dawn a perfect peace confined settle down into this silence fade and fly Sing me a song now of all of our days, did they abandon us here to stay? find me a home, I know we've had it all along  give me a place where I might belong Hold me up high now for all that we've made barren and cradled and lost and frayed I'll leave this land far behind me and be gone sing it to me now, the sweetest song Lay me down in the water here                   and I will let it carry me away from ev'ry fear show me all that we have held and wash it here with me send me offl with a prayer to find a stillest dawn a perfect peace confined settle down into this silence fade and fly And I'll wait for you  here for all we own now  stay with you alone now spin you all my stories and I'll miss you, lonely light might lift you stay here by my side now, leave me all your stories Tell me a story to put me down I am a door that is revolving round when the unwary will come out of a dream tell me you'll stay here in sight unseen Tell me a story of you and of me up on the rooftops alight and freed ever alive and forever growing old, give me a sign and a tale untold.  
2.
Automatics all creeping through the skies pushin’ out my dreams radiant, alive my creator gal put me on my knees pray forever more give it to me, please Mama said there was a long way to go and she told you if you fell down you'd end up so far below all I know is that I’m givin' never gettin’ and I’ll never go to heaven that’s right, I’ll never go to heaven We can look into the middle of the beam get a hit of light tell me what you’ve seen give me everything cause I don’t wanna lie I never want to fade I never want to die Mama said there was a long way to go and she told you if you fell down you'd end up so far below all I know is that I never will be let in and I’ll never go to heaven that’s right, I’ll never go to heaven but did they tell you We’re not gonna go we’re not gonna go to the sky above to the sky above and we’re not gonna go we’re not gonna go never get her love never get above I’m a carrier and I’m a little vine chokin’ all your dreams bury us in time I got nothing left to leave except for me so hold onto your skirt baby we’re off into the breeze Mama said there was a long way to go and she told you if you fell down you'd end up so far below all I know is that we’re never gonna get in and we’ll never go to heaven that’s right, we’ll never go to heaven we’ll never go to heaven you got that right we’ll never go to heaven.
3.
Anastasia 03:56
So she said out on the sidewalks "there's a spark within these streets and I can feel all the city moving and distorting neath these feet" past the corner stores in delicacy a little landmark you've got to notice when she's near ev'ry second shining like you've never got nothing to fear In the morning, nary a sight of sun and the coldest of chill it descends and I'll be weary mixing my medicine we'll be halfway back to begin every time we go so quiet don't you know we're holdin' history girl and I can't ever deny it the flickering flight all the while She, Anastasia she hides from me what she's left there you're never gonna see she's got something and I'ma gonna take it for me but if you're around then I'll be it's a miracle now that we're alright you and I we might make it thru the night safe and silent and simmerin right Anastasia, forever alight Now I'm remembering every dizzy dream all the tall tales up in the breeze there's a lone road out at the edge of town and when it all fails that's where I'll be in a house calm as a silken song we'll make that melody last then close your eyes it's goin to be gone the river the wreathes and the rays She, Anastasia she hides from me what she's left there you're never gonna see she got something and I'ma gonna take it for me but if you're around then I'll be it's a miracle now that we're alright you and I we might make it thru the night safe and silent and shimmering bright Anastasia, forever alight.
4.
Water warm we're gonna savor us the the sweet spot lucrative and we're steeped in lovin' keep the seat hot  the promenade on a young spring night by the  smokestack skyline is coming into sight as we can scheme and slay those empty lanes What you do you wonder when you're waiting in that chill now I'd win you back if I could wake in me the will somehow and by and by with a raincoat grin  it's a slippery thought about all the places you are in you're fightin' in a world that you can't explain         In city we swing where all the buses go in autumn arriving with a broken bow and sleeping on a window where'm I gonna find you In city we swim where all the roses grow you wouldn't believe me if I told you so  so dream dear we'll settle in open ev'ry tiny trap door dive it down and wash ashore  You relayed- "this is that heavenly hour when all the hurt hits electricity, she showers me where the earth splits"           so you I tell that it's just as swell and I will take a trip east to a city we love farewell and we can live it large in that latest sin  The pink and the grey of a highway glow a place in your mind I long to know  together we tiptoe collect the snow now is a fine time to find a little flow yes I'll walk along in that bitter cold painted and pristine these days unfold one finest era we're gonna reach that road   we'll ride in all revelry.
5.
Spectators 03:33
Some look away avert their eyes hide the illness hide the hides find the blind spot nest inside arm to teeth caress the pride the spectators are for me can't you see the spectators are for me a straightjacket to shelter pain  heart all ailing never seen  remote run and senses blurred fear of silence fear of words  tie that starter to your toe come downstairs we'll make a show the spectators are for me can't you see the spectators are for me Have I a lot to give Have I a lot to bleed can you take him out of me a spectator I'll be  Have I a lot to learn Have I a lot to leave can you take him out of me We're in the room where nightmares breed strangest peace come over me stare at nation tattered torn shattered scrapped  and gray and worn the spectators are we yeah the spectators are we can't you see the spectators we'll be  Have we a lot to give have we a lot to bleed can you lay us down in peace the spectators we'll be       Have we a lot to bleed have we a lot to burn         can we stand right here and be  the spectators our turn the spectators our turn the spectators our turn.
6.
When we met gave me a ten dollar bill told me go straight for the kill won't you please me yeah we talked about everything we talked about a sun swept patio some black and white video so proper yeah we talked about everything we talked about never needing believing never felt afraid of fading then freedom for you we talked about everything we talked about failing at all of this about dreamin' a little tryst while I'm making a list we talked about everything And I knew that I'd find my way back in with you baby there was nothing that we couldn't do so can you see what's lost and what's left behind can we talk about everything? Baby now I gotta go with a minute bow opening the window and I'm stepping out so hold me close are we gonna keep a silent vow when we talk about everything when we talk about everything We talked about waiting for all the wounds about creepin under the moons about cradling me we talked about everything we talked about leaving ajar a door where it's naked and warm didn't we mate? you know you know we talked about everything we told each other bedtime stories of our first spun glories of our sweetest songs we talked about everything we talked about wading out in the wind feelin' weighty weakened within without anything yeah we talked about everything And I knew that I'd find my way back in with you baby there was nothing that we couldn't do so can you see what's lost and what's left behind can we talk about everything? Maybe not I gotta go in a minute now opening the window and I'm stepping out so hold me close are we gonna keep a silent vow when we talk about everything when we talk about everything.
7.
All of my dreams interwoven with yours we arise dry to the windows on wars dance in the red of the pale pliant sun undress me until slumber wicked and worn Have you heard the news today? I know that mama's on her way she gonna make it go away I know that mama's on her way We come from place that be so righteous and free violence perfected wrap them stars over me rain fire from on high up above holding my hand so firm, my sister, my love Have you heard the news today? I know that mama's on her way she gonna make it go away I know that mama's on her way I know that mama's on her way I know that mama's on her way... her way she's on her way.
8.
They walked first with fate intact, an upstairs room a world unpacked, a river blind, a tower to play, they walked first into the day a chill of fear a morning gleam a private tear a chaotic dream they walked again round that water cold years and years to go They walked then with the warning raids the crimson prisons and the hearts delayed the New York dusks in them burning days a passageway to what they'd made a bit of impulse bit of pain a sealed little city and a letter lain they walked again round that water cold years and years to go They walked late and they fed the fire gaze to constellations tired in two sheets shined in the last a vague old memory a battle past a harmony a wizard wild a calmness still a window child they walked again round that water cold years and years to go years and years to go years and years to go.
9.
Only Me 03:30
We lie alone until we plead                   we bleed together we recede                       there's a sleepy breeze  in these humid trees as we lean across the years  shield our eyes from all the sun fade and crouch from everyone now I know you well better than this skin better than these hands, each and ev'ry sin It's only me here in all my fears standing bare and blind in this morning clear it's only me by the riverside might I swim ashore          shamed and bathed in night Take the wings off of my back         trace the empty island sky deep within these bones find a restlessness find a bursting joy alive In this ailing epic world I can hardly find your trace there be curious clouds there be naked sound there be dusty light all worn In every house the lights go dim in every child there's a hymn with a fleeting sound meter strong and pure hold that harmony within It's only me  It's only me It's only me it's only me It's only me  It's only me It's only me it's only me.
10.
River Gone 03:04
The old girls they sit at their tables dwelling and lusting and late there be no heater no chill and no breeze and no break water come in slipping and failing and pure now frost on those banks let it shine looking for love ever swimming in sorrow in time That river is already gone, my love that river is already gone rolling and turning and latent and long that river is already gone Me, I'm dancing with my child now the night only hold us so long who's gonna tell them? not me let them just carry on water row past you can find us in the fields now cradle to flower to fawn walk back through winds to the waters this tightrope we're on That river is already gone, my love that river is already gone climbing and tossing and perfect as song that river is already gone Blue through the mountains black in the rocks and the pines gray rush through the cities green let me comb you in time That river is already gone, my love that river is already gone and I'll find you there in the faraway dawns that river is already gone that river is already gone.

about

Mostly the result of a "30 songs in 30 days" project that took place in May 2022 - with a few old melodies thrown in for good measure - "River Gone" was written and recorded in the very late/extremely early hours before the kids awoke. A record about parenting, anxiety, insomnia, sweet dreams, golden hour light, violence in America, longtime partnerships and all the sparkle and sorrow in between. The li'l stuff.

Thanks to all the musicians who helped me bring these songs to life, with a special cheers to Missy Lees who added her wonderful voice and presence to multiple tracks including the entire opening song.

As always, thanks for listening.
-Alec

credits

released June 9, 2023

Recorded at Mini City in Delmar, NY and:
Ari's, Colin's ship, Dawda's, Eckel's, Greg and Eves', G.H. Apt, Missy's &

Electric guitar (1, 9, 10) and vocals (2, 6) recorded by Danielle Warman at Chiller Sound, Pound Ridge, NY.
Drums (1, 3, 4, 6, 10) recorded by Ben Kane and Abbey Lewis at Electric Garden, Brooklyn, NY.
Drums (2) recorded by Joe Rogers at Room 17, Brooklyn, NY.

Written and performed by Alec, plus:

Eve Bates accordion (6)
David Dawda electric bass (3, 6, 10)
Andrew Eckel electronic vibraphone (6)
Ari Friedman electric guitar (10)
Missy Lees vocals (1, 4, 10)
Michael Riddleberger drums (1, 2, 3, 4, 6,10)
Colin Summers electric guitar (2, 3, 6)
Elizabeth Weaver violin (7, 10)

Many thanks to Ben Kane at Electric Garden, Danielle Warman at Chiller Sound & Philip Weinrobe at Sugar Mountain for mixing help, arrangement/production advice (including any good ideas I failed to take) & sifting through my messy & jumbled sessions. To Colin & Eckel for the 20+ years of mutual song & mix advice. To Nicole, for allowing me the many hours of space and time to let my music come to fruition. And to my kids, who previewed tunes at home & mixes in the car, and gave me their unvarnished truths about which ones sounded like shit.

Mastered by Josh Bonati at Bonati Mastering NYC - bonatimastering.com

Artwork by Gregory Hedderman - gregoryhedderman.com

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Alec Betterley New York

Alec Betterley is an upstate NY-based songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and music therapist. He was a founding member of the groups My Friend Other & Toys and Tiny Instruments, and supports other artists on keys when he can find the time amidst a busy schedule of corralling three youngsters. ... more

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